A video of all the host segments from yesterday’s MST3K Turkey Day Marathon …
Take it up to about 16:18 for the final segment, which features a surprisingly touching moment at the end.
Mike: And now The Pickled Babies sing soft rock hits direct from the mouth of Hell.
[Garbled morning school announcement]
Never never will you hide from me
Life was hard but doesn’t beat after all
I have such feelings for a dead robot
While remembering the past and all its love
[And now the buzzard joins in gently, tenderly]
Wherever you may find yourself
I wish you were dead
My own robot
My own my lady
You don’t have my love for you to hound dogs.
You find yourself hardwired with fits of angry rages
The blood flowing lifeless from your body
Your eyes are bright and will fill up the darkness
My own robot
My own my lady
So I guess you and I will stick it out
[A woman weeps a single tear]
— “The Song” from Swamp of the Ravens and Rifftrax
Seriously, if you haven’t yet, go buy this riff. It’s like The Room if it were codirected by Rob Zombie.
The perfect GIF?
The recent Foodom fandom involving blogs for restaurant chains has resulted in a fantasy romantic relationship Denhouse between Denny’s and LongHorn Steakhouse, proving that Tumblr can ship anything.
Warning: the F-bomb is used in this clip.
"Visenya Targaryen rode Vhagar, the smallest of the dragons, though still large enough to swallow a horse whole.”
As a librarian, I absolutely adore this clip. It illustrates perfectly how the written word is a form of telepathy, unbound by time and space to travel directly into your brain, even from someone long dead or half a world away. Just look at Davos’ face when he finishes reading and comprehending that sentence. I know that look. I live for it.
Video and audio have their own brands of intellectual magic, but written words trump any other medium. Are you dubious? Then ponder the reason why most major news networks have a news ticker, why more and more people prefer to receive a text instead of a phone call, and why the book is almost always better than the movie. When you listen to a live person, you are at the mercy of his inflection, dialect, accent, mannerisms, and talking speed (not to mention a ton of other superfluous visual and audible data that contributes nothing to the subject at hand.) But when you read something written by a careful author, the information is laid out as cleanly and precisely as needed. Written words are forgiving and patient; you can read as quickly or slowly as necessary to absorb the information laid out for you. If you don’t understand the information right away, you can put the book aside and read something more rudimentary until the more advanced text makes sense to you. Sometimes I reread a sentence half a dozen times before it finally sinks in. I also always keep a dictionary handy while I read, and that way I learn while I learn.
People chuckle when I step up on my READING IS MAGIC soapbox, but I don’t mean to be trite. Written sentences are encoded not just with raw information, but sensation as well. These packets sit inert forever, coming alive for you only when decoded by your brain.
The brain: the world’s oldest and most advanced computer. It self-upgrades and doesn’t become obsolete for 80+ years.
I don’t sing very well, but I love to look up song lyrics (oftentimes because I can’t understand what the singer is saying). When I read a song lyric, something inexplicable happens: I also hear the music. I tap the out the beat, I sway in my seat, and I feel my stomach tighten as the song’s meaning grips me. Try watching the music video of your favorite song while muted to feel the difference between reading and watching. When you watch the muted video, the song goes off in your head in little bursts, but when you read the song, you are instantly synched, grounded, and immersed.
I should probably end this with a disclaimer. Reading may be a form of telepathy, but like anything else in life, takes discipline, concentration, and dedication. Give Candide to a high school student and you might as well have given him a paper weight. When I was in school, I found no inherent value in some of the “classics” I was forced to read. Whether I needed experience or knowledge or both, simply devouring every book in the world without paying attention or caring about what I read will result in abject confusion. So I say read to your heart’s content, and not much further. A keen interest will always guide you to your next greatest discovery.
"The fact that Tumblr skews young is surely exciting, but you want to make sure you’re the wall and not the poster. The poster is the first thing to go when you age and shudder at your erstwhile enthusiasms. After graduation comes the cringe. Just say ‘Xanga’ or ‘LiveJournal’ to todays’ ex-tweens and see us scuttle away under a rock.”